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The Funniest Madea Quotes About Love, Relationships And Christmas

Here’s a selection of Madea Quotes, covering topics such as Tyler Perry, going to jail, movies, Halloween, life and reunions.

We really hope you enjoy these quotes and that they give you something to think about.

Not too little, not too much: there safety lies.
Euripides

Hey, Honey.. Did the the docter ask for my number… Huh? Did he ask for my digits??
Aunt Bam

I will storm the gods and shake the universe.
Euripides

In childbirth grief begins.
Euripides

I’ve also heard that you haven’t had a colonoscophy
Dr. Evans

Mortal fate is hard. You’d best get used to it.
Euripides

My love for you
was greater than my wisdom.
Euripides

Better a humble heart, a lowly life. Untouched by greatness let me live – and live. Not too little, not too much: there safety lies.
Euripides

1-800 CHOKE DAT HOE!
Joe

It will look like you got legs running up your back, when I get done wooping your *ss .
Madea

We must not think too much: people go mad if they think too much.
Euripides

Who’s my daddy Madea?!
Cora

Ya’ll laughin’ but I think I see the light!
Brown

Hate is a bottomless cup; I will pour and pour.
Euripides

You have the skill. What is more, you were born a woman, and women, though most helpless in doing good deeds, are of every evil the cleverest of contrivers.
Euripides

To me, a wicked man who is also eloquent seems the most guilty of them all. He’ll cut your throat as bold as brass, because he can dress up murder in handsome words.
Euripides

For in other ways a woman is full of fear, defenseless, dreads the sight of cold steel; but, when once she is wronged in the matter of love, no other soul can hold so many thoughts of blood.
Euripides

byriiiiiiinnnnnn
Sabrina

Gods often contradict
our fondest expectations.
what we anticipate
does not come to pass.
what we don’t expect
some god finds a way to make it happen.
so with this story.
Euripides

You gunna wish the sprem did a back stroke when it saw the egg tht created you
Madea

Sit down you black leprechaun looking like you’re out of a damn box of chocolate, lucky charms.
Madea

When a lady walk in you say “hellur!” Hellur?!
Madea

U on sit down so much.. When u die tell those people to bury u on ur stomach to give ur *ss a break
Madea

if i have to get a J.A.B you aint gettin N.U.N
Renee

Old loves are dropped when new ones come.
Euripides

I’d three times sooner go to war than suffer childbirth once.
Euripides

Stronger than lover’s love is lover’s hate. Incurable, in each, the wounds they make.
Euripides

Since I am wise, some people envy me,
some think i’m idle, some the opposite,
and some feel threatened. Yet i’m not all that wise.
Euripides

Do not grieve so much for a husband lost that it wastes away your life.
Euripides

you look like you cam outta a box of chocolate lucky charms.
Madea

Death is the only water to wash away this dirt.
Euripides

Haha, you was a hoe back in the day.
Joe

Who can stop grief’s avalanche once it starts to roll.
Euripides

O what will she do, a soul bitten into with wrong?.
Euripides

Of all creatures that can feel and think,
we women are the worst treated things alive.
Euripides

Why long for death’s marriage bed
which human beings all shun?
death comes soon enough
and brings an end to everything.
Euripides

Now I got silver hair, but I got silver bullets, too. Do you want one?
Madea

Hast thou ice that thou shalt bind it
to thy breast, and make thee dead
to thy children, to thine own spirit’s pain?
when the hand knows what it dares,
when thine eyes look into theirs,
shalt thou keep by tears unblinded
thy dividing of the slain?
these be deeds not for thee:
these be things that cannot be!.
Euripides

See, y’all Christians is somethin’… y’all go pull out that Bible, but y’all don’t know which prescripture to use for which situation. You got to find the right prescripture. There’s a prescripture that says, “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so.” Have you been redeemed by the Lord?
Madea

It’s human; we all put self interest first.
Euripides

Not yet do you feel it. Wait for the future.
Euripides

I know indeed what evil I intend to do, but stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury, fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils.
Euripides

Amongst mortals no man is happy; wealth may pour in and make one luckier than another, but none can happy be.
Euripides

I understand too well the dreadful act
i’m going to commit, but my judgement
can’t check my anger, and that incites
the greatest evils human beings do.
Euripides

Helurrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!
Madea

Row Row Row your Hoe up and down the street, Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, she is just a piece of meat!
Aunt Bam

These stretch marks is a road map to heaven, hell if you follow this GPS it’s gon’ take you some where you ain’t never been befo’
Madea

Oh, say, how call ye this,
to face, and smile, the comrade whom his kiss
betrayed? scorn? insult? courage? none of these:
’tis but of all man’s inward sicknesses
the vilest, that he knoweth not of shame
nor pity! yet I praise him that he came . . .
to me it shall bring comfort, once to clear
my heart on thee, and thou shalt wince to hear.
Euripides

Abort, abort! Evacuate the building! Aarrrrr! Arrrrrr!
Joe

Hallelujarr!
Madea

Let no one think me a weak one, feeble-spirited, a stay-at-home, but rather just the opposite, one who can hurt my enemies and help my friends; for the lives of such persons are most remembered.
Euripides

Byron you told her about my I.Q forreal that how you feelin
Sabrina

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