The Best, Funny And Sweet Chocolate Quotes

My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won’t die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn’t have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.

Eating chocolate can have significant influences on mood, generally leading to an increase in pleasant feelings and a reduction in tension.

Chocolate is an antidepressant, which is especially useful as you start to gain weight.

Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power…it is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits.

You want to give me chocolate and flowers? That would be great. I love them both. I just don’t want them out of guilt, and I don’t want them if you’re not going to give them to all the people who helped mother our children.

I adore dark chocolate.

Chocolate says “i’m sorry” so much better than words.

My music is like a baby pink frosted cake with sprinkles, but when you cut into it, there’s a gooey, dark chocolate center.

Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes.
it makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt.

If there’s no chocolate in heaven, i’m not going.

I used to dirt bike a lot. I can’t do that anymore. Can’t eat a whole lot of chocolate anymore, either. I can’t be in ‘Indiana Jones’ and be a fatso!

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world’s perfect food.

The end is nigh!” the man shouted.
“is there still time for hot chocolate?” riley asked.
the-end-is-nigh guy blinked. “ah, maybe, I don’t know.

I honestly eat chocolate all day long. I do realize how blessed I am to be able to eat what I want and not have to live in the gym.

I think that Shake Shack wouldn’t exist had it not been for Twitter. I don’t think you would have gotten a hundred New Yorkers to stand in line for an hour if they couldn’t have made their time really productive and organized snowball fights, ordered free hot chocolate, and, you know, Instagrammed photos.

Chocolate is like medicine – but as with medicine, the key is the proper dose. Don’t overdo it.

I hate going out for lunch during a workday because it slows down my pace and ruins my rhythm. I prefer to eat at my desk. Actually, I wander around the design studio with a plate in my hand as I dine on, for example, salmon sashimi and a salad of tomatoes and mozzarella. I often have a bit of dark chocolate after lunch.

More than any other food, chocolate delights and enchants … chocolate tantalizes and it comforts. Chocolate has soothed fretful children and welcomed tired travelers; mountain climbers have saved their last piece of chocolate to celebrate reaching new heights; suitors have given chocolate to show the depth of their devotion. Chocolate has been used as a stimulant, an aphrodisiac, and [even] a form of currency.

Like magic, she felt him getting nearer, felt it like a pull in the pit of her stomach. It felt like hunger but deeper, heavier. Like the best kind of expectation. Ice cream expectation. Chocolate expectation.

Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate.

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing.

You know, I live a monastic lifestyle. No, I do. I do live in extremes, basically. I go back and forth. Once every six months, I’ll have a day where I eat more chocolate than has ever been consumed by a human being.

Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don’t need an appointment.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. So, eat lots of chocolate!

My beauty secret is… nothing! I don’t drink too much water. I don’t eat very well. Sometimes I cheat and grab some chocolate. The best thing is to eat what you want, but not very much.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.

I’m grateful for every day I’m still alive. Everything is still working. I attribute it to eating a lot of processed foods. I think it’s the preservatives that keep me going. That, and I eat as much chocolate as I can get my hands on.

Coffee and chocolate—the inventor of mocha should be sainted.

Chocolate knows no boundaries; speaks all languages; comes in all sizes; is woven through many cultures and disciplines … it impacts mood, health, and economics, and it is a part of our lives from early childhood through the elderly years.

Whether it’s the experiments on ‘MythBusters’ or my earlier work in special effects for movies, I’ve regularly had to do things that were never done before, from designing complex motion-control rigs to figuring out how to animate chocolate.

I have to stop eating so much grilled cheese and chocolate chip cookies and start really working on everything!

A little chocolate is like a love affair – an occasional sweet release that lightens the spirit. A lot of chocolate is like marriage – it seems so good at first but before you know it you’ve got chunky hips and a waddle-walk.

Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.

Strength is the capacity to break a hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.

Just the other day, I was in my neighborhood starbucks, waiting for the post office to open. I was enjoying a chocolatey cafe mocha when it occurred to me that to drink a mocha is to gulp down the entire history of the new world. From the spanish exportation of aztec cacao, and the dutch invention of the chemical process for making cocoa, on down to the capitalist empire of hershey, pa, and the lifestyle marketing of seattle’s starbucks, the modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top.

After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.

My greatest strength is common sense. I’m really a standard brand – like Campbell’s tomato soup or Baker’s chocolate.

It’s not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let’s face it, far more reliable than a man.

When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, ‘You were a good boy onstage and you did your show, so now you can have some cake and ice cream.’

I was like a chocolate in a box, looking well behaved and perfect in place, all the while harboring a secret center.

Carefully prepared chocolate is as healthful a food as it is pleasant; that it is nourishing and easily digested; that it does not cause the same harmful effects to feminine beauty which are blamed on coffee, but is on the contrary a remedy for them.

Will looked horrified. “what kind of monster could possibly hate chocolate?.

Can I come back and see you sometime?”
“long as you bring me some chocolate,” gramma said, and smiled. “i’m partial to chocolate.”
“gramma, you’re diabetic.”
“i’m old, girl. Gonna die of something. Might as well be chocolate.

The greatest tragedies were written by the greeks and shakespeare…neither knew chocolate.

Switzerland is a place where they don’t like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I think I do myself a disservice by comparing myself to Steve Jobs and Walt Disney and human beings that we’ve seen before. It should be more like Willy Wonka… and welcome to my chocolate factory.

Let’s face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me.

Do I have chocolate chip cookies? Yes, I do. Do I have mint chocolate chip milkshakes? Yes, I do. I love them. They are fantastic. But when I have them, they’re worth it. I earned them. I did something. I worked out super hard. I stayed clean on food.

Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers.

Reminiscent of childhood memories, luxury, sweetness and sensuality, chocolate is more than just a food–it is therapy.

I listened wide-eyed, stupid. Glowing by her voice in the dim light. If chocolate was a sound, it would’ve been constantine’s voice singing. If singing was a color, it would’ve been the color of that chocolate.

Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? well…they can be useful. But mainly…they are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn’t do without them. And there are times when you’d rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical.

When you select the right kind of chocolate it is like giving your insides a hug. Everyone needs a chocolate hug.

Without pain, how could we know joy?’ this is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.

Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.
chocolate isn’t like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant.
and it always feels good.

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.

Chocolate: the poor mans’ champagne.

Chocolate is ground from the beans of happiness.

I feel like there is this weird thing where celebrity involvement in political campaigns kind of goes together like peanut butter and chocolate. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad.

May your life be filled, as mine has been, with love and laughter; and remember, when things are rough all you need is … Chocolate.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

Mentioning violence to bruce was like mentioning chocolate sauce to a six-year-old.

The superiority of chocolate, both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has in Spain.

The 12-step chocolate program: never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!.

As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter a, e, or u is the proper time for chocolate.

Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.

I snack on sauteed peanuts, a whole fruit, lots of cheese – especially goat cheese – with multi-grain crackers and dark chocolate. These are my weaknesses. I make it a point to eat every two hours.

Every now and then, i’ll run into someone who claims not to like chocolate, and while we live in a country where everyone has the right to eat what they want, I want to say for the record that I don’t trust these people, that I think something is wrong with them, and that they’re probably – and this must be said – total duds in bed.

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

Hot fudge fills deep needs.

Giving chocolate to others is an intimate form of communication, a sharing of deep, dark secrets

Chocolate is the first luxury. It has so many things wrapped up in it: deliciousness in the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good.

He showed the words “chocolate cake” to a group of americans and recorded their word associations. “guilt” was the top response. If that strikes you as unexceptional, consider the response of french eaters to the same prompt: “celebration.

I don’t really work out. I eat a lot of sweets. I have chocolate all over my house.

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive.