Tyrion Lannister is one of the most important characters in Game of Thrones. The dwarf brother of Queen Cersei and the knight Jaime, he is always looking for ways to be more influential. He often talks about books and learning. While Tyrion takes his plots very seriously, many of his quotes are funny. He is easy to relate to because he enjoys the simple things like wine and women. Tyrion’s words will remind you to read widely while making you laugh.
Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you.
We’ve had vicious kings and we’ve had idiot kings, but I don’t know if we’ve ever been cursed with a vicious idiot boy king!
And now I’ve struck a king. Did my hand fall from my wrist?
Anyone named Desmond Crakehall must be a pervert.
It’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you’ve put a crown on its head.
Let them see that their words can cut you and you’ll never be free of the mockery. If they want to give you a name takes it make it your own. Then they can’t hurt you with it anymore.
A fair enough repayment for putting your spear through my would-be killer’s face, wouldn’t you say? Now, as it happens Marei is quite the spear-handler herself. She’s here to thank you for staying by my side as the battle raged all around us.
What do I want from you? I want you to share my tent. I want you to pour my wine, laugh at my jokes, rub my legs when they’re sore after a day’s ride. I want you to take no other man to bed as long as we’re together. And I want you to f*ck me like it’s my last night in this world. Which it may well be.
We’ve had vicious kings, and we’ve had idiot kings…but I don’t know if we’ve ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king!
I try to know as many people as I can. You never know which one you’ll need.
You love your children. It’s your one redeeming quality – that and your cheekbones.
I am the god of t*ts and wine.
You can’t f*ck your way out of everything.
You love your children. It’s your one redeeming quality. That and your cheekbones.
It’s not easy being drunk all the time. If it were easy, everyone would do it.
Of course it’s a joke, just not a very funny one.
If you want justice, you’ve come to the wrong place.
I don’t believe that giants and ghouls and white walkers are lurking beyond the Wall. I believe that the only difference between us and the wildlings is that when that Wall went up, our ancestors happened to live on the right side of it.
I was the smartest person I knew, certainly I had the wherewithal to unravel the mysteries that lay at the heart of a moron.
Every time we deal with an enemy, we create two more.
A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.
I’d like to have my own vineyard, make my own wine: The Imp’s Delight. Only my close friends could drink it.
Shaggar: “How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?”
Tyrion: “In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my c*ck.”
Tyrion: “In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my c*ck.”
We all need to be mocked from Time to Time, Lest we take ourselves too seriously. More Wine Please.
Tywin Lannister: “You seem rather drunk.”
Tyrion: “Rather less than I’d like to be. Isn’t it a man’s duty to be drunk at his own wedding?”
Tyrion: “Rather less than I’d like to be. Isn’t it a man’s duty to be drunk at his own wedding?”
Not this time. We’ll be staying at the finest castles and inns. No one turns away a Lannister.
If you’re going to be a cripple, it’s better to be a rich cripple.
I am Tyrion, son of Tywin of Clan Lannister.
I’m not questioning your honour, Lord Janos…I’m denying its existence.
Of course we are. Just because I pay you for your services doesn’t diminish our friendship.
Someday, if you decide not to execute me, I’ll tell you all about why I killed my father. And on that day, should it ever come, we’ll need more wine than this.
A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you’ll know the debt is paid.
I am a person who drinks. People who drink need to keep drinking.
Far too much has been written about great men, and not nearly enough about morons.
Daenerys: “I will have a very large army and very large dragons.”
Tyrion: “Killing and politics aren’t always the same thing.”
Tyrion: “Killing and politics aren’t always the same thing.”
Schemes and plots are the same thing.
I must do my part for the honor of my house; wouldn’t you agree? But how? Well, my brother has his sword, and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That’s why I read so much, Jon Snow.
I much like my head. I don’t want to see It removed just yet.
In my experience eloquent men are right every bit as often as imbeciles.
When I was twelve, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage, I made the bald man cry, into the turtle stew! Which I do believe my sister ate, at least I hope she did.
When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.
I wish I was the monster you think I am. I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it. I will not give my life for Joffrey’s murder. And I know I’ll get no justice here, so I’ll let the gods decide my fate. I demand a trial by combat!
I just want to stand on top of the Wall and piss off the edge of the world.
You might find it difficult to rule over millions who want you dead.
Well, my brother has his sword, and I have my mind.
I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples and bastards and broken things.
Trial by combat, deciding a man’s guilt or innocence in the eyes of the gods by having two other men hack each other to pieces. It tells you something about the gods.
We’ll come up from behind them and f*ck them in their asses!
Though I would treasure your friendship, I’m mainly interested in your facility with murder. And if the day ever comes when you’re tempted to sell me out, remember this: whatever their price, I’ll beat it. I like living.
Everything’s better with some wine in the belly.
That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.
I remember reading an old sailor’s proverb, ‘Piss on wildfire and your c*ck burns off.’
The King is a lost cause, it’s the rest of us I’m worried about.
Don’t fight for a king. Don’t fight for his kingdoms. Don’t fight for honor, Don’t fight for Glory, Don’t fight for riches, because you won’t get any. This Is your city Stannis means to sack. That’s your gate he’s ramming. If he gets in it will be your house that burns. Your gold he steals, your women he rapes. Those are brave men knocking at our door. Lets Go Kill Them!
Turns out, far too much has been written about great men and not nearly enough about morons. Doesn’t seem right.
It’s easy to confuse ‘what is’ with ‘what ought to be,’ especially when ‘what is’ has worked out in your favor.
Why Is It that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what’s on the other side?
The Lord of Light Wants his enemies burnt. The Drowned God wants his enemies drowned. Why are all the Gods such vicious C*nts? Where Is the God of t*ts and Wine?
Laughing at another person’s misery was the only thing that made me feel like everyone else.
The powerful have always preyed on the powerless, that’s how they became powerful in the first place.
Grand Maester Pycelle made the same joke. You must be proud to be as funny as a man whose balls brush his knees.”
I have to disagree. Death is so final, yet life is full of possibilities.
You want revenge against the Lannisters? I killed my mother, Joanna Lannister, on the day I was born! I killed my father, Tywin Lannister, with a bolt to the heart! I am the greatest Lannister killer of our time!
I understand the way this game is played.
Oh, “monster.” Perhaps you should speak to me more softly then. Monsters are dangerous and, just now, kings are dying like flies.
It’s even better luck to suck a dwarf’s c*ck.
I’m guilty of a far more monstrous crime. I’m guilty of being a dwarf.
Listen to me. Sometimes possession is an abstract concept. When they captured me, they took my purse, but the gold is still mine.
Drinking and lust. No man can match me in these things. I am the god of t*ts and wine… I shall build a shrine to myself at the next brothel I visit.
A very small man can cast a very large shadow.
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