Here’s a selection of Tropic Thunder Quotes, covering topics such as Les Grossman, Jack Black, inpiration, love and life.
We really hope you enjoy these quotes and that they give you something to think about.
Alpa
Chino: As for why I’m in this movie, maybe I just knew I had to represent. Cause they one good part in this movie for a black man and they gave it to Crocodile Dundee.Kirk
Lazarus: Pump your brakes, kid. That man’s a national treasure.
Chino: I just wanted to throw another shrimp on your Barbie.
Lazarus: That sh*t ain’t funny.
Chino: I’m just f*cking with you, Kangaroo Jack. I’m sorry if a dingo ate yo baby.
Lazarus: You know that’s a true story? Lady lost her kid. You about to cross a f*cking line.
Kevin Sandusky: Hey guys could we just cool it…
Chino: You know what, f*ck that, I’m sick of this koala-hunting nigga- [Kirk slaps Alpa. Alpa tries to punch Kirk but Kirk grabs his fist and pulls him in and embraces him.]
Lazarus: For 400 years, that word has kept our people down.
Chino: [confused]…what the f*ck!?
Lazarus: Took a whole lot of tryin, just to get up that hill, but now we up in the big leagues…
Chino: [Breaks away from Kirk] That’s the theme songs from The Jeffersons.
Lazarus: Just cause it’s a theme song doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Chino: As for why I’m in this movie, maybe I just knew I had to represent. Cause they one good part in this movie for a black man and they gave it to Crocodile Dundee.Kirk
Lazarus: Pump your brakes, kid. That man’s a national treasure.
Chino: I just wanted to throw another shrimp on your Barbie.
Lazarus: That sh*t ain’t funny.
Chino: I’m just f*cking with you, Kangaroo Jack. I’m sorry if a dingo ate yo baby.
Lazarus: You know that’s a true story? Lady lost her kid. You about to cross a f*cking line.
Kevin Sandusky: Hey guys could we just cool it…
Chino: You know what, f*ck that, I’m sick of this koala-hunting nigga- [Kirk slaps Alpa. Alpa tries to punch Kirk but Kirk grabs his fist and pulls him in and embraces him.]
Lazarus: For 400 years, that word has kept our people down.
Chino: [confused]…what the f*ck!?
Lazarus: Took a whole lot of tryin, just to get up that hill, but now we up in the big leagues…
Chino: [Breaks away from Kirk] That’s the theme songs from The Jeffersons.
Lazarus: Just cause it’s a theme song doesn’t mean it’s not true.
We’ve been handed an incredible opportunity here, Peck.
Les Grossman [ to Four Leaf ] : You’re a Great American, This Nation Owes you a huge debt….[ angrily ] Now Shut The f*ck Up and let me do my job!!!!!!
You grew hands!
I don’t read the script. The script reads me.
That’s for Brooklyn, motherf*cker!
That’s what that playin’ God stuff was about, tryin to get us to act good to save the movie.
Hey, Alpa. If you get me some drugs I will totally suck your c*ck. Stroke the shaft, cradle the balls, swallow the gravy! C’mon man, let’s do this!
You can’t be serious?
I don’t drop character ’til I’ve done the DVD commentary
This walkie talkie goes to the helicopter, and the helicopter is God. And I am Jesus Christ. And you are my chosen disciples.
[incensed at Flaming Dragon’s demands] Okay Flaming Dragon, f***face. First, take a big step back… and literally f*** your own face! I don’t know what kind of pan-Pacific bullsh*t power play you’re trying to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory. So whatever you’re thinking, you’d better think again! Otherwise I’m gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an ungodly f***ing firestorm upon you! You’re gonna have to call the f***ing United Nations and get a f***ing binding resolution to keep me from f***ing destroying you. I am talking scorched-earth, motherf***er! I will massacre you! I will f*** you up! [hangs up; to assistant] Can you find out who that was?
Tugg Speedman: I can’t feel my legs….
Kirk Lazarus: They ain’t nothin’, but a thang
Kirk Lazarus: They ain’t nothin’, but a thang
But they’re trained soldiers.
Never go full retard.
I’m a lead farmer mother f*cker!
Welcome to the goodie room!
Tugg Speedman: This is insane. Are you really going to abandon this movie? We’re supposed to be a unit!
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.
Suck my unit!!
A hooker. Oh Jesus, you killed a hooker!
This is Less Grossman, who is this?
Alpa and I is already wearin’ Earth mama’s natural night camo.
Shut the f*ck up & let me do my job!
[The Tropic Thunder production crew have a video conference with studio exec Les Grossman]Les
Grossman: Which one of you f***faces is Damien Cockburn?
Damien Cockburn: Uh, that’s me, sir. It’s an honor to finally meet you. Get some face time.
Grossman: And who here is the key grip? [the key grip raises his hand] You? You! Hit that director in the face, really f***ing hard!
Key Grip: [reluctantly walks over to Damien] Sorry, man. [punches him in the face]
Grossman: This is all your fault, you Limey f***! You sh*t the money-bed, my friend.
Grossman: Which one of you f***faces is Damien Cockburn?
Damien Cockburn: Uh, that’s me, sir. It’s an honor to finally meet you. Get some face time.
Grossman: And who here is the key grip? [the key grip raises his hand] You? You! Hit that director in the face, really f***ing hard!
Key Grip: [reluctantly walks over to Damien] Sorry, man. [punches him in the face]
Grossman: This is all your fault, you Limey f***! You sh*t the money-bed, my friend.
I don’t get out of character until I do the DVD commentary.
What is with you people?!
Im the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude
Goodbye mama, now you can have ice cream in heavan! I’ll see you again tonight when I go to bed in my head movies. But this head movie makes my eyes rain!
[Lazarus and the gang are preparing their options for infiltrating the Flaming Dragon camp]
Jeff
Portnoy: So, what’s the plan, man? You gonna talk Vietnamese to those dudes?Kirk
Lazarus: No, no. Mandarin Chinese. What I can tell, it’s what they’re speaking down there.
Portnoy: How the hell do you know Chinese?
Lazarus: Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li. Second Globe, third Oscar. I prepped for that one by working in a Beijing textile factory for eight months.
Jeff
Portnoy: So, what’s the plan, man? You gonna talk Vietnamese to those dudes?Kirk
Lazarus: No, no. Mandarin Chinese. What I can tell, it’s what they’re speaking down there.
Portnoy: How the hell do you know Chinese?
Lazarus: Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li. Second Globe, third Oscar. I prepped for that one by working in a Beijing textile factory for eight months.
your just because i’m skinny
Wake up Hop Hop!
Man were lost, were super lost!
The universe… is talking to us right now. You just gotta listen. [turns on Flo Rider’s “Low” and begins to dance to the beat]
[Cody and Tayback are tied to a post in the Flaming Dragon compound]
Cody: Dude, dude, what the hell is going on here? Where are we?
Four-Leaf
Tayback: I have no idea, I’ve never been outside the States.
Cody: Wait what?! Are you f***ing kidding me?! Did you make this whole g*dd*mn thing up?! Dude you weren’t even in the f***ing service?!
Tayback: Yes! Of course! Coast Guard!
Cody: Coast Guard.
Tayback: Sanitation Department.
Cody: Oh my God! You’re a f***ing garbage man! Dammit! F.L. Tayback lies to me and the whole g*dd*mn U.S. of A.
Tayback: I wrote the book as a tribute! I’m a patriot.
Cody: Yeah, you’re the Milli Vanilli of patriots okay? You lied about fighting in the Vietnam War. It’s like – It’s like punching the American flag in the face goddammit! God, to think I believed you!
Tayback: Writers lie all the time!
Cody: [a guard bursts in] Can I be tied to another post please?
Cody: Dude, dude, what the hell is going on here? Where are we?
Four-Leaf
Tayback: I have no idea, I’ve never been outside the States.
Cody: Wait what?! Are you f***ing kidding me?! Did you make this whole g*dd*mn thing up?! Dude you weren’t even in the f***ing service?!
Tayback: Yes! Of course! Coast Guard!
Cody: Coast Guard.
Tayback: Sanitation Department.
Cody: Oh my God! You’re a f***ing garbage man! Dammit! F.L. Tayback lies to me and the whole g*dd*mn U.S. of A.
Tayback: I wrote the book as a tribute! I’m a patriot.
Cody: Yeah, you’re the Milli Vanilli of patriots okay? You lied about fighting in the Vietnam War. It’s like – It’s like punching the American flag in the face goddammit! God, to think I believed you!
Tayback: Writers lie all the time!
Cody: [a guard bursts in] Can I be tied to another post please?
Hey, Alpa, if you let me go right now, I will totally suck your dick. Stroke the shaft, cradle the balls, swallow the gravy! C’mon baby, let’s get this over with!
(To Kirk) Hold my hand Brother…
To Tugg after talking to Sandusky……”For some reason he smells like bologna”.
Speedman is a dying star. A white dwarf headed for a black hole. That’s physics. It’s inevitable.
Yo Tuggernuts! It’s the Pecker!
[about Speedman] They’re going to kill him!
It was like pistol whipping a blind kid.
I killed one, Rick… the thing I love most in the world.
My farm? Here’s my motherf*cking farm! I’m a lead farmer, motherf*cker!
I was wrong! Blow the bridge! Blow the f*cking bridge!
[dancing along] Right…
I will massacre you! I will f*ck YOU UP!
See, this is the good part, Pecker. This is when the job gets fun! Ask… and you shall receive!
I got the TiVo!
Studio Executive Rob
Slolom: Wow. Right Oscars, 400 million dollars at the box office, and you saved Tugg Speedman’s career.Les
Grossman: I couldn’t have done it without you.
Slolom: Really?
Grossman: No, dickhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
Slolom: I wouldn’t do that.
Grossman: Ah… joking.
Slolom: Ah, there he is! Funny. You’re a funny guy.
Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.
Slolom: Wow. Right Oscars, 400 million dollars at the box office, and you saved Tugg Speedman’s career.Les
Grossman: I couldn’t have done it without you.
Slolom: Really?
Grossman: No, dickhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
Slolom: I wouldn’t do that.
Grossman: Ah… joking.
Slolom: Ah, there he is! Funny. You’re a funny guy.
Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.
I dont know. who are you?
I need some dudes up here that speak American, God damn it. He’s making a f*cking sweater back here. I’m trying to put Tiger Balm on this jungles nuts.
Cover me, limp dick f*ck-ups!
You went full retard man, never go full retard.
Man, everybody’s gay once in a while.
A Speedman is racing towards the chopper, getting shot repeatedly….”SURVIVE!
How’s the adoption thing going?
I don’t know what kind of gun this is. I only know the sound it makes when it kills a man.
What do you mean, you people?
It’s just corn syrup you guys! Blood flavored…corn syrup.
Yeah, but those dudes are trained soldiers.
To be a moron, to be moronical. To be the dumbest mother f*cker who ever lived.
I will annihilate you! I will f*ck you up!
What do you need, Peck?
Me? I know who I am. I’m a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.
Les
Grossman: The universe is talking to us right now. You just gotta listen.[Grossman plays “Low” by Flo Rida in his music player, and he and Slolom begin dancing. Pecker is confused.]
Grossman: See, this is the good part, Pecker. This is when the job gets fun.Rob
Slolom: Mmm, yeah.
Grossman: Ask, and you shall receive.
Slolom: All right!
Grossman: You play ball, we play ball. [Slolom nods. Grossman begins dancing like he’s slapping *ss.] I know you want the goodies. Mmm!
Slolom: Welcome to the goodie room.
Grossman: You payin’ attention? ‘Cuz I’m talkin’ G5, Pecker. That’s how you’re gonna roll. No more frequent flyer b*tch miles for my boi. Oh yeah. Playa. Playa. Big dick playa.
Slolom: Swingin’ past your knees.
Grossman: Big dick, baby.
Slolom: Yup.[Grossman stops the music.]
Grossman: Or, you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes you.[Pecker stands up and faces Grossman.]Rick “Pecker”
Peck: Let me get this straight. You want me to let my client of fifteen years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle alone for some money and a G5.
Grossman: Yes.
Pecker: A G5 airplane.
Grossman: Yes. And lots of money. Playa…. [Grossman starts the music again, and he and Slolom start dancing again.]
Slolom: Yeah! Smack it up, flip up, rub it down, hoo!!
Grossman: The universe is talking to us right now. You just gotta listen.[Grossman plays “Low” by Flo Rida in his music player, and he and Slolom begin dancing. Pecker is confused.]
Grossman: See, this is the good part, Pecker. This is when the job gets fun.Rob
Slolom: Mmm, yeah.
Grossman: Ask, and you shall receive.
Slolom: All right!
Grossman: You play ball, we play ball. [Slolom nods. Grossman begins dancing like he’s slapping *ss.] I know you want the goodies. Mmm!
Slolom: Welcome to the goodie room.
Grossman: You payin’ attention? ‘Cuz I’m talkin’ G5, Pecker. That’s how you’re gonna roll. No more frequent flyer b*tch miles for my boi. Oh yeah. Playa. Playa. Big dick playa.
Slolom: Swingin’ past your knees.
Grossman: Big dick, baby.
Slolom: Yup.[Grossman stops the music.]
Grossman: Or, you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes you.[Pecker stands up and faces Grossman.]Rick “Pecker”
Peck: Let me get this straight. You want me to let my client of fifteen years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle alone for some money and a G5.
Grossman: Yes.
Pecker: A G5 airplane.
Grossman: Yes. And lots of money. Playa…. [Grossman starts the music again, and he and Slolom start dancing again.]
Slolom: Yeah! Smack it up, flip up, rub it down, hoo!!
You spank that *ss, Les!
Damien: Crisis meeting? What does that mean, exactly? I mean, you know, are we in a crisis?
Rob: He’s the head of the studio. He’s reaching out. We’re 10,000 miles away. He just wants a little face-time.
Damien: I know. It’s just you said he called it a crisis meeting. So, you know…
Rob: It’s Les Grossman. He throws these words around. “Crisis,” “explosion,” “not rolling,” “fired.” These are just words.
Rob: He’s the head of the studio. He’s reaching out. We’re 10,000 miles away. He just wants a little face-time.
Damien: I know. It’s just you said he called it a crisis meeting. So, you know…
Rob: It’s Les Grossman. He throws these words around. “Crisis,” “explosion,” “not rolling,” “fired.” These are just words.
You muh-muh-make me hah-pay.
I know who I am! I’m a dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude!!
Hell nah, I ain’t pee on nat girl. No no listen, here’s the story she was in the way when I was peeing she walked past.
speedman is a dying star a white dwarf heading for a black role thats physics its inveditible
You went full retard…..NEVER go full retard.
Kirk
Lazarus: What about you, Master Blaster? You got a certain someone you trying to get with back in the States?Kevin
Sandusky: What, Alpa Chino? He’s like ten girls deep, 24/7.
Lazarus: No, you missin’ me, man. I’m talking about something special. Big difference. How about it?Alpa
Chino: Yeah. Yeah, there is.
Lazarus: Well? What’s the skinny? Y’all been on a date or what?
Chino: No. I mean…I always wanted to, but, I guess I just never had the courage to ask. It’s…it’s complicated.
Lazarus: No! It’s simple as pie, man. You plant your feet on the ground, you look her square in the eyes, you say, “Hey. Baby, you and me’s going on a date.” That’s the end of the story. What’s her name?
Chino: …Lance.
Lazarus: “Listen here, Lance…” Lance? What the f*ck did I just hear? Lance?
Sandusky: Did you say, “Lance”?
Chino: No!
Sandusky: That sounded like “Lance”.
Chino: No, I said “Nance”.
Sandusky: It sounded like “Lance”.
Chino: Look, I’m Alpa Chino, okay? I love the p*ssy, all right? Lay your *ss back down and look at the stars.
Lazarus: When you wrote “I Love Tha p*ssy”, was you thinking of dangling your dice on Lance’s forehead?
Chino: Naw, hell no! What? Come on, look…
Lazarus: Man, everyone’s gay once in a while!
Chino: I’m not gay!
Lazarus: This is Hollywood!
Chino: How about we all get back to work?
Lazarus: Okay, cool.
Chino: This is ridiculous! We got a big day tomorrow. Let’s get focused.
Jeff
Portnoy: Alpa, if you untie me, I will literally suck your dick right now.
Chino: I told you, for the last time, I love tha’ p*ssy!
Portnoy: I’ll cradle the balls…stroke the shaft…work the pipe…swallow the gravy. Get it over here, buddy. Let’s do this.
Lazarus: What about you, Master Blaster? You got a certain someone you trying to get with back in the States?Kevin
Sandusky: What, Alpa Chino? He’s like ten girls deep, 24/7.
Lazarus: No, you missin’ me, man. I’m talking about something special. Big difference. How about it?Alpa
Chino: Yeah. Yeah, there is.
Lazarus: Well? What’s the skinny? Y’all been on a date or what?
Chino: No. I mean…I always wanted to, but, I guess I just never had the courage to ask. It’s…it’s complicated.
Lazarus: No! It’s simple as pie, man. You plant your feet on the ground, you look her square in the eyes, you say, “Hey. Baby, you and me’s going on a date.” That’s the end of the story. What’s her name?
Chino: …Lance.
Lazarus: “Listen here, Lance…” Lance? What the f*ck did I just hear? Lance?
Sandusky: Did you say, “Lance”?
Chino: No!
Sandusky: That sounded like “Lance”.
Chino: No, I said “Nance”.
Sandusky: It sounded like “Lance”.
Chino: Look, I’m Alpa Chino, okay? I love the p*ssy, all right? Lay your *ss back down and look at the stars.
Lazarus: When you wrote “I Love Tha p*ssy”, was you thinking of dangling your dice on Lance’s forehead?
Chino: Naw, hell no! What? Come on, look…
Lazarus: Man, everyone’s gay once in a while!
Chino: I’m not gay!
Lazarus: This is Hollywood!
Chino: How about we all get back to work?
Lazarus: Okay, cool.
Chino: This is ridiculous! We got a big day tomorrow. Let’s get focused.
Jeff
Portnoy: Alpa, if you untie me, I will literally suck your dick right now.
Chino: I told you, for the last time, I love tha’ p*ssy!
Portnoy: I’ll cradle the balls…stroke the shaft…work the pipe…swallow the gravy. Get it over here, buddy. Let’s do this.
I’m sorry your dingo aint your baby!!
Im a land farmer, MOTHA f*ckA!
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