From Rocco To The Bartender – The Best Boondock Saints Quotes

Doc:
You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh… sh… sh… ships.
Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix ‘n’ match sh*t’s got to go.
Doc: What?
Connor: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn’t it?
Murphy: And don’t cross the road if you can’t get out of the kitchen.

It’s the real deal, Roc. Evil man, dead man.

Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The Three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God.

Connor: Destroy all that which is evil.
Murphy: So that which is good may flourish.

I can’t believe that happened!!!!!

I’ll have a coke.

Detective Greenly: What if it was one guy with six guns?
Paul Smecker: Why don’t you let me do the thinking, huh, genius?

Il Duce: When I vest my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold in judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.
Deuteronomy 32:41-43 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
41:when I whet my flashing sword,and my hand takes hold on judgment;I will take vengeance on my adversaries,and will repay those who hate me.

Rocco: F***ing… What the f***. Who the f*** f***ed this f***ing… How did you two f***ing f***s…
Rocco: f***!
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

Now, you Irish cops are perking up. That’s two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing.

There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain.

AAARGH! THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!

So you’re Chekov, huh? Well, this here’s McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team.

Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie b*tch.
Donna: What? Why?
Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.

Paul Smecker: What are you doing?
Paul Smecker: Cuddle? What a fag.

Boy, you guys sure did a good job. Ah sh*t, you guys are good huh? Cool masks. Where’d you get ’em?

I shall count the sheep among my favored sheep and shall you the protection of all the angels in heaven.

They can suck my pathetic little dick. And I’ll even dip my nuts in marinara so the fat bastards can get a taste of home.

Monsignor: We must always fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil that we must fear the most, and that is the indifference of good men.
Connor: I do believe the monsignor’s finally got the point.
Murphy: Aye.

Connor: Donna’s gonna be angry about her cat.
Rocco: F***, she’s on every drug known to man. She’d have sold the thing for a dime-bag. Screw her.
Rocco: I do kinda feel like an asshole, though.
Connor: Yeah, Roc, you sound real remorseful there.

Paul Smecker: Why don’t you get me a cup of coffee?
Detective Greenly: Who the hell is this…?
Paul Smecker: Cafe latte.
Detective Greenly: What the f***…?
Paul Smecker: Twist of lemon.
Detective Greenly: Chief, what the f*** is this?
Paul Smecker: Sweet’N Low.

Shut your fat *ss Rainey! I can’t even buy a pack of smokes without running into 9 guys you’ve f*cked!

And I shall count thee among my favored sheep, and you shall have the protection of all the Angels in Heaven.

Detective Dolly: Nobody reported any gunshots.
Paul Smecker: This is an Irish neighborhood. I’m surprised you even got a phone call.

Allright! Get Your Stupid f*cking Rope!!

And no man shall shed blood, but by man shall his blood be shed.

Connor: Jesus. He brought a six-shooter.
Murphy: There’s nine bodies, genius.
Connor: What the f*** were you going to do, laugh the last three to death, Funny-Man?

I’m an expert in nameology.

So you’re telling me it was one guy with six guns, and he was a senior frigging citizen?

They can suck my pathetic little dick, and I’ll dip my nuts in marinara sauce just so those fat bastards can get a taste of home while they’re at it.

Where you goin’? Nowhere.

He’s happy now, just killing us one by one. And worse, he’s good at it.

Yeah, it’s St. Patty’s Day, everyone’s Irish tonight. Why don’t you just pull up a stool and have a drink with us?

Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.

Why don’t you make like a tree, and get the f*** outta here?

Murphy: Where the f*** are you going?
Connor: Shhh. I’m trying to figure some sh*t out, so keep your trap shut.
Murphy: Ahh, f*** you. I’m sweatin’ my *ss off carrying your f***in’ rope around. Must weigh 30 lbs…
Connor: Shhh. You’re f***ing sh*t up now, so get a-f***ing-hold of yourself!
Murphy: Oh, F*** YOU! I’m not the rope totin’, Charlie Bronson-wannabe getting us f***ing lost!
Connor: Would you shut it?
Connor: Jesus Christ!

I put evil men behind bars, but the law has miles of red tape and loopholes for these cocksuckers to slip through.

Murphy: We’re sorta like 7-11. We’re not always doin’ business, but we’re always open.
Connor: That was nicely put.

Tooralooraloora!

Greenly, the day I want the Boston Police to do my thinking for me is the day I will have a f***ing tag on my toe.

Murphy: Kind of liberating, isn’t it?
Rocco: You know, it is a bit.

Just pour the drink, you fairy f***.

There was a FIRE FIGHT.

You insignifi-CUNT, little f***!

Murphy: I can’t believe that just f***ing happened!
Rocco: Is it dead?

The Priest: Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?
Paul Smecker: No, they would never do that.
Paul Smecker: Well, the two Irish guys wouldn’t, the Italian guy, he might, he’s kind of an idiot.

Connor: How far are we going to take this, Da?
Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed?

Connor: We haven’t really figured out a system to decide who.
Rocco: Me. I’m the guy. I know everyone. I know their habits, who they hang out with. I got phone numbers, addresses. I know who they’re f***ing, I know where they live. We could kill EVERYONE.
Murphy: So what do you think?
Connor: I’m strangely comfortable with it.

With Murphy as they point two guns at a gangster on his knees) And Shepherds we shall be, for thee my lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from they hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out they command. So we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine Patri, et fili… et spiritu scanti. (Shoot the gangster in the back of the head.)

We’re like 711, we ain’t always doing business… But we’re always open.

This guy takes out a whole family… wife, kids, everybody… like he’s ordering f***ing pizza.

And Shepherds we shall beFor thee, my Lord, for thee.Power hath descended forth from Thy handOur feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.So we shall flow a river forth to TheeAnd teeming with souls shall it ever be.In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.

Augustus DiStephano: Your father and I used him three times in twenty years, only when things got totally f***ed. Whenever we needed one of our own bumped off, we called this guy in. He had a thing for clipping wiseguys,
but only one rule: No women, no kids. Believe me, kid, you don’t want this guy unless you are one hundred percent sure you need him. He’s a f***ing monster.
Murphy: The hits just keep on coming. I love our new job.

[Rocco has killed Donna’s cat]
Donna: You killed my… my…
Rocco: [putting a gun to his head] Your what? I’ll shoot myself in the head if you can tell me that f*cking cat’s name! Your what? Your precious, little…
Donna: Skippy! Skippy!
Rocco: Aw, Jesus! What color was it, b*tch?

Well, it certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

Good shooting, shitty shooting.

Isn’t that right Rambo?

You know, you Irish cops are perking up. That’s two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing.

So Duffy, have any theories to go with that tie?

You’d probably have better luck with beer.

Now Roc… are you sure that you’re obee-kaybee?

Rocco: Feels like it’s still there.
Connor: Yeah, well it’s not.

I killed your cat, you druggie b*tch!

Checkov? Well, this here’s McCoy. We find a Spock, we got us an away team.

Connor: Donna’s gonna be angry about her cat.
Rocco: f*ck, she’s on every drug known to man. She’d have sold the thing for a dime-bag. Screw her.[laughs]
Rocco: I do kinda feel like an asshole, though.
Connor: Yeah, Roc, you sound real remorseful there.

Hey f***-*ss, gimme a beer.

This guy takes a blunt object, f*ckin’, waah! Hits the guy with the bandages around his head, right? Why? ‘Cause he’s smart. He knows the guy with the bandages around his *ss, he ain’t goin’ nowhere. He’s goin’ f*ckin’ nowhere.

I’m f*ckin’ fine. Catch you on the flipside”.

You must watch, dear. It’ll all be over soon.

Connor: Well, “Name one thing you’re gonna need this stupid f***ing rope for.”
Murphy: That was way easier than I thought it would be.
Connor: Aye.
Murphy: On TV you always have that guy that jumps over the sofa…
Connor: And then you’ve got to shoot at him for ten f***ing minutes.
Murphy: We’re good.
Connor: Yes, we are.

Wyatt-f***in-Earp!

Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, now and forever. Amen.

Looks like we’ve got ourselves a cowboy.

We’ll start the *ss-kissing with you.

The 90’s are killing me. I shouldn’t have done that. You’re not supposed to tell a guy you’re gonna kill him no more. I got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. Taking all the fun out of the job.

Shut your fat *ss, Rayvie! I can’t even go to the store to get a pack of smokes without runnin’ into nine guys you’ve f***ed.

When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.

Television is the explanation for this. You see this in bad television. Little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling – that James Bond sh*t never happens in real life, professionals don’t do that.

Connor: It’s like a scumbag yard sale.
Murphy: We should come down here once a week and clean house.

Hey Boris, what would you do if I told you your Pinko Commie mother sucked so much dick, her face looked like an egg?

Is it dead?

I ain’t getting him no f***ing bagel.

Detective Duffy: This was their target, the fag-man.
Paul Smecker: The what-man?
Detective Duffy: The fat man.
Paul Smecker: Well, well. Freud was right.

Connor: What the f*** are you doing?
Rocco: …I’ll tip her.