The Best Funny & Sad Quotes From Supernatural’s Dean Winchester

You think you’re funny?
i think i’m adorable.

Kick it in the *ss.

He hadn’t been kissed like that in a long, long, time; maybe ever.

God save us from half the people who think they’re doing God’s work.

There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.

Hell had been his vietnam. It had stamped its mark on him for all eternity, and no amount of denial or self-imposed ignorance was going to change it. Ever.

Fight the fairies! you fight those fairies!.

The diner, a motorcycle, and dean winchester.

Neal! it’s your grief counselors. We’re here to hug!.

Just ’cause you love someone doesn’t mean you should stick around and screw up their life.

We know a little bit about a lot of things. Just enough to make us dangerous.

Something snagged at his heart when he thought of that; he didn’t want dean to forget about him. It didn’t seem fair that dean might get to brush him aside and cas would remember him for the rest of his natural life.

Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.

Saving people, hunting things, the family business.

Well, I think I learned a valuable lesson. Always take down your Christmas decorations after new years or you might get filleted by a hooker from God.

I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.

Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!

I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.

Please accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity.

I’m batman.

No, he focused on the one thing that he knew would keep him grounded the way the demon said he’d need to be.
“take your brother outside as fast as you can – don’t look back. Now, dean, go!”
sam’s not dying. Not on my watch. You protect your family no matter what.
i’m coming for you, sammy. Just hold tight.
and don’t look back.
he opened his eyes. Behind him, he could hear kat’s voice muttering an incantation in a language he didn’t recognize. It wasn’t latin, certainly. Since it was demon magic, it was probably some language that was even more dead than latin.
the chanting stopped.
dean screamed.

Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we’re gay?

Dad had this story. A marine and a navy guy walk into a bathroom together. They both take a piss, and then sailor goes to the sink. The marine heads for the door, and the sailor says, “hey- in the navy they teach us to wash up after we take a leak.” and the marine turns around and says, “yeah? well, in the marines they teach us not to piss on our hands.

You know, dean said, gesturing with his uninjured hand. If we were in an action movie, this would be the scene where you tenderly dress my wounds. Then the wailing guitar ballad would kick in and we’d end up rolling around on the bed in a slow motion montage.

if I were in q, the winged serpent, xochi replied, this would be the scene where I sacrifice you to quetzalcoatl.

Your half-caf, double vanilla latte is getting cold over here, francis.

I can’t believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent!

Hey, see if they’ve got any pie. Bring me some pie. I love me some pie.

I can dig elvis.

Dean, having worked with dad longer, was used to taking orders. More than that, he seemed to thrive on it, as if dad had crushed the independent spirit he’d been born with.

Dean, you’ve been to hell, I started the apocalypse, and we’re supposed to be possessed by an archangel and the devil. Now you’re being skeptical?.

So,” lauren said. “you help ghosts with unfulfilled wishes cross over to the astral plane for judgment.”
“yes.”
“and you hunt demons.”
“yes.”
“and you’re married to an angel.”
“yes.”
she paused. “…so basically, you’re dean winchester.”
i made an exasperated sound. “i am not.”
she smirked. “yeah, sure.

Back when he was a kid, about eleven years old, he used to go looking for cars that had “no radio in car” signs on them. He’d take a removable radio, of a type that was very popular at the time, and throw it as hard as he could at the car window with a note wrapped around it that read, now you have one.