We all know and like those played out sci-fi movie cliches, but we like them even more when concentrated and compacted into the Star Wars parody turned iconic cult classic, Spaceballs. Please take a moment away from comparing your Schwartz size with your mortal enemy, and turn your attention to these laugh out loud quotes from this memorably hilarious and quotable 80’s sci-fi comedy. Nobody wants to be a Prince Valium- prepare for the New Jersey screening with Mel Brooks on May 6th with your arsenal of legendary quotes to impress all of those on the Upside and the Downside. (Image Credit)
So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
What the Hell am I lookin’ at? When does this happen in the movie?
Radar about to be “jammed.”
I’ll bet she gives great helmet.
Look your highness, it’s not that we’re afraid, far from it. It’s just that we’ve got this thing about death; it’s not us.
May The Schwartz be with you.
Nah, he got the upside, I got the downside. See there’s two sides to every Schwartz.
Knock on my door! Knock next time!
How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
Well, I hope it’s a long ceremony, ’cause it’s gonna be a short honeymoon.
What’s the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
You have the ring. And I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now, let’s see how well you handle it.
The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie will be over.
Out of order? f*ck! Even in the future nothing works!
No you fool, we’re following orders. We were told to comb the desert so we’re combing it.
Oh my gosh. It’s not just a spaceship. It’s a transformer.
Why are we always “preparing”? Just go.
Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.
Of course you do. Druish princesses are often attracted to money, and power, and I have BOTH, and YOU KNOW IT!
Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
My hair… You shot my hair!!! YOU BASTARDS
I can’t breathe in this thing!
What are those thing coming out of her nose?’ ‘Spaceballs!’ ‘Oh sh*t, there goes the planet
No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, never play this again.
Ooh! Those flashing eyes, those pouting lips. You know something princess? You are UGLY when you’re angry.
I’m a Mawg. Half-man, half-dog. I’m my own best friend.
It worked, sir. We have the combination.
I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
What’s a-matter, Colonel Sanders?……CHICKEN???
Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
There’s only one man who would dare give me the raspberry…Lone Starr!
Those flashing eyes. Those flushed cheeks. Those trembling lips. You know something princess, you are ugly when you’re angry.
No, it’s not what you think. It’s much, much worse!
sh*t!! I hate it when I get my schwarz TWISTED!
Not bad… for a girl.
The way he runs things it won’t last a hundred.
Instant cassettes! They are released, before the movie is finished!
Come back, you fat bearded b*tch!
What’s the matter with this thing, what’s all that churnning and bubbling, you call that radar screen?
Ah, planet Druidia. And under that air shield, ten thousand years of fresh air. We must get through that air shield!
I know we need the money, but…
The minute we move in they’re gonna spot us on their radar.
We’re done with you. Go back to the golf course and work on your putz.
Oh! That’s gonna leave a mark.
Yes, we’re gonna have to go right to…ludicrous speed!
WHAT? You went over my helmet?
I bet she gives great helmet.
So, Lord Helmet, at last we meet again for the first time for the last time.
So the combination is… one, two, three, four, five? That’s the stupidest combination I’ve ever heard in my life! That’s the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
Yogurt the Magnificent!
The s- That’s what I ordered! Change my order to the soup!
So, Princess Vespa, at last I have you in my clutches, to have my way with you, the way I want to.
No, no, no, light speed is too slow!
Say goodbye to your two best friends- and I don’t mean your pals in the Winnebago!
My brains are going into my feet!
I’ll have the cleavage, I mean the special.
AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT ON THIS THING, A *CUISINART*?